Episode 86 Out-Of-Control Obsessing: 5 Powerful Steps to Become an Effective Manage of Your Own Mind
In this episode, I am going to give you 5 steps to stop the out-of-control obsessing that intrudes the mind on a daily basis. These effective steps put you back in control of your own mind and thus your own life.
What is an obsession? An idea or thought that continually preoccupies or intrudes on a person’s mind. A persistent, disturbing preoccupation.
I know I have found myself in situations like this: I am in conversation with someone. They are talking about something, and I am engaged at first. Then some thought will cross my mind that stays and takes up residency. Now my mind is preoccupied. I am absorbed in thought and not hearing a word that is being said. Well, it doesn’t take long for that person to realize it usually. They lose motivation in the conversation and move on in their life. I then feel bad and usually try to reconnect with them.
When someone says that they are obsessing about something, this doesn’t usually have a positive connotation. Usually they are looking for a way out, some relief from this persistent preoccupation.
An obsession intrudes on your mind. It is almost as though you have no control over it. You find yourself back in thought about it without even knowing how you got there.
What are we obsessing over in life?
Negative situations – we replay them over and over again. Even though the situation is long gone, we keep it alive inside us for days, sometimes years.
Money – How can I get more? How can I pay my bills? What if my money runs out? How can I afford to send my kids to college? How will I ever be able to retire? Money is a quick way to a high stress level.
Time – Being too busy. How can I get everything done? This must all be done today (even though there may be no real reason for that other than you just want it over with). No one understands how much I have to get done. I can’t possibly add one more item to my schedule.
What is an obsession really?
An obsession is simply an addiction of the mind. Addictions are an escape from reality. They are things that make us feel better, no matter how temporary, about ourselves and our world. They quickly get out of control. If you are an addict, you lose the ability to manage whatever is the focus of your addiction. It has intruded and is extremely persistent.
An obsession is mismanagement of the mind. Any obsession is a mismanagement of the mind and is destructive. It interferes with the process of creating a healthy and positive life.
You must learn how to be a manager of your own mind.
5 Powerful Steps to Become an Effective Manage of Your Own Mind
Within a company, what do managers do? The Wall Street Journal answered that question.
- Sets goals and decides what work needs to get done to meet those goals
- Organizes, divides the work into manageable chunks, selects an order, basically makes a plan of attack.
- Motivates and communicates, builds the team
- Measures, sets appropriate targets and yardsticks, analyzes and appraises
- Develops people, people are a company’s most important asset and a manager develops that asset.
Apply these steps to your own mind
Do you have goals or are you just floating along in life? Without goals, we drift aimlessly.
Setting goals takes courage. Once a goal is set, we will either succeed or fail. So there is risk involved. I never said this path would be easy. But I do promise that it will be rewarding.
Goals come in a lot of different areas of life. Physically – losing weight, getting in shape, eating better….. Emotionally – showing more compassion, connecting with family better….
This first step is to set your goals and then decide what work needs to get done to meet those goals. What will it take to accomplish them?
Organizes your steps
So now you take those goals that might seem unreachable, and you make them more manageable. You make a plan of attack. You don’t have to be able to see the entire path yet. Just see what you need to do now.
Motivates and communicates
This is the most important step in my opinion. The manager can have the best plan in the world, but if the workers can’t stay motivated to get it done, then the plan is useless. Do you motivate yourself? Most people will answer that with a huge NO. We are all much too quick to talk negatively to ourselves. I’m not good. I can’t get anything done. What was I thinking when I made this goal and elaborate plan? This’ll never happen.
If this is how you talk with yourself, you might as well stop now. You can’t win against that sort of talk.
How does an effective manager motivate his people? He sees the positive things they do and recognizes and rewards them. An effective manager meets with his people and listens to them. He creates a positive work environment and respects his workers.
So do you motivate yourself? Do you see the positive things you do and reward yourself with them? Those rewards can be anything from kind words to yourself to an evening out with a best friend. Communicate with yourself with positive and motivating words
Measures, analyzes and appraises
Set yourself appropriate targets and appraise your progress. Appraise means to set the value of something, to determine its quality. Appraise the value of the thoughts in your mind on a regular basis. The thoughts that are not helpful to you, discard them. Keep only the thoughts that move you in a positive and forward direction.
Are you developing yourself? You are your greatest asset! Think about it. You can process millions of memories and thoughts everyday. Along with the adrenaline to fight a bear to save your child, you also have the gentleness to calm an upset baby. You can experience hundreds of emotions everyday and spend a lifetime learning, never feeling like you have run out of room.
This is better than any computer money will ever buy.
As you learn to better manage your mind, the results are huge!
Focus on what you want in life
Life brings us what we dwell on, like we are a magnet.
If you are obsessing over negative situations, life will bring you more to dwell on. You see, the universe is quite logical. If you are spending all that time focused on negative situations, then life concludes that you must like having the negative situations to ponder and dwell on. So it will give you more of them.
The opposite is also true. If you are obsessing on positive things and positive situations, then life will determine that this is what you want more of. You will find yourself experiencing more and more positive situations to dwell on.
So be careful what you spend your time and energy thinking about.
The universe is listening!